Letter to My Littlest Brother

My youngest brother's birthday is this weekend. He's been dealing with some difficult stuff at home lately and I am not around to help, so I sent him this letter in his birthday card. Hopefully it will be what he needed to hear.

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Hey! Hope you’re having an awesome time on your birthday. I can’t believe my youngest brother is in high school…and driving…and just generally growing up. I haven’t been able to spend much time with you while you’ve been turning into an adult, what with me living in another city and all. So I thought I’d do the Big Sister thing and see if I can say some stuff that will maybe help you out a little bit. 

I know things aren’t easy right now. High School is hard enough by itself without dealing with a messed up family like ours. All I can say is that a lot of stuff that feels like a really big deal to you right now won’t matter that much in the long run. It does get better, and you can’t let that stuff keep you from living your life the way you want to. Because – and I am absolutely serious here – the thing that matters the most is that you are happy. 

There are so many people in our family – people that I love – that are profoundly unhappy. And no matter what I say to them, they keep living that way. That is a choice that they are making. But just because things have always been a certain way or everyone around you has always behaved a certain way, does not mean that is the only way to live and to act. There is always the possibility for change. There is a whole world of options, and I encourage you to learn about and experience as much as possible. As you grow up, you get to make more and more choices about the way you want to live. The way you decide to treat people, the way you decide to treat yourself and what you decide to do with your life are the choices that really matter.

I would like you to think about what would make you happy. I don’t expect you to have everything figured out right now; you’re still in high school after all. The reason adults are always telling kids to stay in school is because education gives you more options, and when you don’t know what you want to do having more options available when you do figure it out can make a difference. Education isn’t for everyone, and it definitely isn’t necessary for you to be happy in life, but there may be something that you want out of life that education can help you get.

You are an awesome kid. You are very creative and extremely capable.  I’ve seen you do amazing things, and I hope to see you do many more.

Love, your Big Sis

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What do you think? Would it have helped to have someone tell you something like this in high school?